Breast Cancer
Mother and Daughter relationships can be incredibly complex. This is so with my beautiful daughter, we have had discord since she arrive into this senseless world. I was so young and immature, divorced at eighteen with two babies. Furthermore, I left high school at the first quarter of my second year. I married my best friend, and I was pregnant. We divorced and all I did was work; I worked two jobs, separating from my children with babysitters, not present for all their awesome experiences, not being a virtuous mother, the benevolent mother that watched over my children grow, while they were toddlers.My Daughter was very percousis child. Her IQ was above genus and to be honest I was not primed to comprehend or ascertain how to handle her. My son was so soft and quiet, and my daughter ran circles around me. Sherry is more like me, I too was also a wild child, she at this instant, transpired to become a brave, gregarious, sensitive person and the best mother I have ever seen. Now, she is a grown woman in her mid forties, still to young to have this burden thrown at here in this way. Last week, she stumbled upon a lump on her breast, and her nibble was starting to appear genuinely malformed. Last week she went to the doctor and then subsequent one week later she found herself in surgery.
Unfortunately, we haven't talked in a few years, this experience has been an off and on relationship, furthermore to be honest with you I don't recollect why she is not speaking to me, in addition, mistrusting each other WILL never happen again. This is so negative and ugly to not speak to family, and a loved one is just nuts and life is to tender and short. This time, it had to be an incredible ludicrous disagreement and as far as I am concerned, I love and miss her very much, and there is no way to break through the brick wall, it just gets thicker and thicker until you stop talking. This is my youngest child, I love her so. Yet, we are so different and we should celebrate those differences, not judge them.
Yes, I am crying as I am writing this, I send my darling daughter an email the minute I talked to her father, Jerry and my best friend, his wife Bernadette, is also my best friend. Thus, I received an email from my daughter who just yesterday had her first chemo treatment and is to sick and weak to talk, she directed me to her personal blog. My daughters partner is Deb, or Debbie and my grandaughter is Sofia. This is what she wrote:
Survived it! Now that that is out of the way. Will back up, Got dressed and literally at the last minute ran my Advanced Directive (gives Debbie/my dad/a family friend) rights to be my voice and agent should the worst occur. It is common to do before surgeries. Ran across the street and got it signed of by my two sleepy neighbors, Sheeza andher husband. Lovely family. After that logistic was to of the way, Deb and I headed to the hospital for registration and administration. It was off to a bumpy start. They had squeezed me in for this surgery last minute and it threw of some of their mojo. Once we got past, we were directed to Radiology/Radioactive on lower level of hospital. Very desolate and sterile. We then were greeted, by the imagery women, she explained the procedure and had me sign release forms and sign off that I was indeed aware of what the hell was going on. Lots of initialing. Behind her working space was photos of dogs and a bald women with her hair slightly grown out and a generous grin. After my prep talk she asked me to change my shirt into a gown and directed to me to a table with explained a Doctor would be in and would putting 5 injections around the site with careful avoidance of hitting the 3 cysts. The Ultrasound tech came in first an did the cyst locating. The Doctor came in soon thereafter. I was comfortable with them all. The first 3 injections were easy breezy. The 4th a bit of clincher and the 5th which was by surface injection at the nipple was toughest and I did let out a squeal/moan – not a happy moment. Debbie had one of my hands and the Ultrasound Tech had my other for that moment. Once the injections were complete, the Dr and Tech took their leave. I had to stay put for the slight traces of the radioactive injections to run along my node areas. Then the imagery lady ran a feather light needle alongside my left under arm then when off to record. About 20 min later she returned and did under my arm, gone 20 min. Then around my side a bit. Gone a few, then over arm. Not all in that order but you get the idea. In between these waits Debbie rubbed my head and temples and I was feeling the need to stay centered so that motion was incredibly soothing.. I was not allowed to move my left side as I lay on the table. The camera was above me the feathery thing was probably some fiber optics device. Once done with that the imagery woman told Debbie where they keep an imagery CD that needed to be brought to the BreastCenter across the street where the outpatient surgery is done. I was wheel chaired over in with crazy red hair and hospital gown at front for my van. Debbie met us there and I wheeled over to room 4 after a urine sample. The nurses were awesome and got me good to go on the table. Another gown and a lightweight blue cap. I was introduced to my anesthesiologist who had a look that said, I am gonna hook you up big time. I remember holding Deb’s hand and then deb filled me in that I started to go a bit out of it. Apparently as they wheeled me away, I asked if she could come with me and they said sorry could not. Debbie tells me I waved arm in air and said “I Love you.” and she replied back ”Love you too, Peanut.” The next thing I remember is coming out of anesthesia and voices and them telling me I did good and vitals were all on target. The Surgeon walked in and smiled asking how I felt. I was groggy and said “Hi, ya buddy” - again smiles. He reiterated I did good that that I had my port and they only had 1 node removed under my armpit. There are traces of cancer.
The speed bumps coming home were not fun but when we got home, the bed was like heaven. The goal was to void my bladder as much as possible to get all of the crap out of my system – probably the injection material more than anything. My first pee was bright green. Had one vicodin so far but, man don't like how it makes me feel so, so far am toughing it out. It is hard to use my arms because the node was removed on the left and the 2nd piece of port is on left side and the output of the port is on the right so my upper body will need time to heal.
Sheeza and her family walked over a beautiful bouquet and a card that spoke volumes on hope and times that will someday behind us. Sofia’s other household, Lenora and Paula stopped in to pick up a few things and popped in on us with kind words and support. Family is so important at times like these. Invaluable. Sofia is doing well. Both Debbie and Sofia’s birthday is Monday, so the plan is to an intimate evening together bake a cake and share a meal with both households including Grandma here Sunday evening.
Here it is day after surgery and I am trying to eat and I want a shower something fierce. I am watching Debbie gather herself for her day and think about how incredibly hard this must be on her. She lost her mother to cancer on January 2009 after 14-15 year battle. Also, a very close mutual friend and one of Debbie’s closest friends, Cathy also a cancer survivor. Debbie has been hit from all sides at this point and my heart aches for her. She regularly does the Avon walks and plans to participate in the September walk in Santa Barbara. The other day she looked at me and said, “When you shave your head, I am shaving mine too”. Wow…I was very touched. We have known each other for 17 years roughly on a business level and have been together 4 years in May. Our relationship has grown in ways that has had its fair shares of trials and tribulations externally and internally but one things for sure, I am a lucky lady.
http://darlenesabella.blogspot.com/
The copyright to this article is owned by Darlene Sabella. Permission to republish this article in print or online must be granted by the author in writing. (You can, however, freely use the opening introduction and photo with a link to the article here on My Smashing Magazine to read the remainder of the article.) I am also a member of Copy-scape, they hold all my articles and will show if anyone should copy my articles...
Unfortunately, we haven't talked in a few years, this experience has been an off and on relationship, furthermore to be honest with you I don't recollect why she is not speaking to me, in addition, mistrusting each other WILL never happen again. This is so negative and ugly to not speak to family, and a loved one is just nuts and life is to tender and short. This time, it had to be an incredible ludicrous disagreement and as far as I am concerned, I love and miss her very much, and there is no way to break through the brick wall, it just gets thicker and thicker until you stop talking. This is my youngest child, I love her so. Yet, we are so different and we should celebrate those differences, not judge them.
Yes, I am crying as I am writing this, I send my darling daughter an email the minute I talked to her father, Jerry and my best friend, his wife Bernadette, is also my best friend. Thus, I received an email from my daughter who just yesterday had her first chemo treatment and is to sick and weak to talk, she directed me to her personal blog. My daughters partner is Deb, or Debbie and my grandaughter is Sofia. This is what she wrote:
The speed bumps coming home were not fun but when we got home, the bed was like heaven. The goal was to void my bladder as much as possible to get all of the crap out of my system – probably the injection material more than anything. My first pee was bright green. Had one vicodin so far but, man don't like how it makes me feel so, so far am toughing it out. It is hard to use my arms because the node was removed on the left and the 2nd piece of port is on left side and the output of the port is on the right so my upper body will need time to heal.
Sheeza and her family walked over a beautiful bouquet and a card that spoke volumes on hope and times that will someday behind us. Sofia’s other household, Lenora and Paula stopped in to pick up a few things and popped in on us with kind words and support. Family is so important at times like these. Invaluable. Sofia is doing well. Both Debbie and Sofia’s birthday is Monday, so the plan is to an intimate evening together bake a cake and share a meal with both households including Grandma here Sunday evening.
Here it is day after surgery and I am trying to eat and I want a shower something fierce. I am watching Debbie gather herself for her day and think about how incredibly hard this must be on her. She lost her mother to cancer on January 2009 after 14-15 year battle. Also, a very close mutual friend and one of Debbie’s closest friends, Cathy also a cancer survivor. Debbie has been hit from all sides at this point and my heart aches for her. She regularly does the Avon walks and plans to participate in the September walk in Santa Barbara. The other day she looked at me and said, “When you shave your head, I am shaving mine too”. Wow…I was very touched. We have known each other for 17 years roughly on a business level and have been together 4 years in May. Our relationship has grown in ways that has had its fair shares of trials and tribulations externally and internally but one things for sure, I am a lucky lady.
http://darlenesabella.blogspot.com/
The copyright to this article is owned by Darlene Sabella. Permission to republish this article in print or online must be granted by the author in writing. (You can, however, freely use the opening introduction and photo with a link to the article here on My Smashing Magazine to read the remainder of the article.) I am also a member of Copy-scape, they hold all my articles and will show if anyone should copy my articles...
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