 |
| http://www.flickr.com/photos/adixit/4767472861/sizes/z/in/photostream/ |
Why Is It So Hard For People To Be Alone?
This issue has always astounded me. I just don’t get it! I was married at a young age, I considered it necessary and for personal reasons, to get away from my parents home. It was an extremely detrimental place. So, I married my childhood sweat heart when I was 16 years old. Had two children and divorced by the time I was 18 years old. My first husband and I are still great friends, and we work together on sustaining and chatting about our grown children, now, in their mid-forties.
I raised my children, went back to school part time, paid my bills, dated, went out with my friends and just lived my life in Southern California. At 25 years old I meet the man I married, Joe had three children and my two, and we merged our families, and lived a very wonderful happy life. We divorced when we were halfway through our mid-life, and he moved in with the first women he met, so did my first husband. I am also best friends with Joe.
I must admit, this flabbergasted me in the beginning; subsequently I started thinking about all my Friends, women and men. They have continuously telling me they were terrified to live alone or never meeting or finding someone. They put ads in the newspapers, singles sections, went to dating services, and now they are online dating. Why are they so desperate to find someone, not the ideal match for them, not a best friend for life, just someone to be with? I would rather jump off a cliff then to be with just any one.
Countless people I know about don’t have hobbies, they don’t read, or make fun stuff, write, or play golf, travel, or change their lives. They will find fault, however, but they don’t change their life. At this instant, if I was despondent about something, I would try to fix it or “I’m out of there”. Life is too short to be in a space, place, life that is all too gloomy. Being different, was something I had to face. I like being alone, I like silence, I love my friends and family, but it is not important to pick up a person, just because I don't want to be alone. That is depressing and a waste of life. What if there is a right person out in this world for you? What if you met someone that was cruel to you? What if it was not a healthy relationship? What if?
Why don’t I get this, I had a friend, Maria, many years ago come to visit me from Nevada, her husband just left here and she came rushing to me and was at my house in a flash. I told her that my daughter and I were going to Hollywood the following day to be extras, and if I could orchestrate it, would she like to join us? She was excited about the job and off we went to the studio, there were so many people as extras this day and it was really fun, we were spectators sitting in seats of a fighting match, which was a Las Vegas back drop. After cheering and screaming for several hours we all took a longLunch break, what an awesome buffet the studio catered to all the extras.
I observed Maria was sitting across the hall talking to one of the other extras, a cowboy type, older guy. After lunch, Maria walked over to tell me, she said she was leaving with this guy; Bill I think was name... I just look intently at her, what did you say? We are leaving, he’s taking me to dinner and then he will bring me back later. Of course, she never returned and so she called me a few days later and her and Bill went to Las Vegas and just got married. Never to be heard from again.
Finally after 20 years I found my perfect friend, lover, husband, best friend, and my perfect match. What about people that have young children, there are so many things that could happen when you meet a stranger and bring him home. For both men and women this is down right dangerous. People need to learn to spend time alone, gather your thoughts, have time alone, find out who you really are. Life is very complicated, why make it worse by jumping in with both feet. The water could be awful hot and burn you in a way that you will never recover.
I have so many of these crazy stories, but I think you get my point, it is said that men are the ones that don’t want to be alone, but in my experience it’s both sexes. I am so busy, I have many endeavor going on all the time, sometimes I forget to eat I am so busy, and I love my pets, and not having to answer to anyone, having issues, like quarrelling I am so puzzled by this behavior that I would like some assessment and some comments. This is a strange area of interest; most people don’t talk about or even admit to this, so use a fake name…
Being alone is not like seclusion or loneliness, enjoying living your life, it’s a magnificent point, I enjoy my own company and I’m not saying that I wouldn’t want to share my life with someone, as well as, it would have to be someone special, someone you fall in deep love with. Not just somebody to have in your life, being petrified to be alone, what does that mean? Why are people like that? Why can’t they pause until they find out about the other person, what is it that they like, what they don’t like, what are their moods like, are they a good hearted person, do you care about the same issues, like saving the planet, green issues, love for dogs, all the things that I call important. Or, is there something wrong with my thinking? Is this only me? Let me know, I am entirely baffled.
The copyright to this article is owned by Darlene Sabella. Permission to republish this article in print or online must be granted by the author in writing. (You can, however, freely use the opening introduction to the article here on RedGage to read the remainder of the article.) I am also a member of Copy-scape, they hold all my articles and will show if anyone should copy my articles.
No comments:
Post a Comment